


Why Tony Stark Needs A Hug

by ThatOneSmolFangirl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: DONT READ THIS FIC IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN AVENGERS 4, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I used a lot of inspiration, I"M SERIOUS, Infinity War spoilers, OKay moving on, Overanalysis of everything, Peter's death, This is a lot different from my normal stuff, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 17:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15369540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneSmolFangirl/pseuds/ThatOneSmolFangirl
Summary: This is quite different from my other fics. This isn't really a story, it's more of an essay on why Tony deserves the world. It does have INFINITY WAR SPOILERS so keep that in mind. I'm actually quite proud of it, and I hope you guys like it as much as I do!





	Why Tony Stark Needs A Hug

Listen up everybody. A while ago, I was texting with a friend, and we were talking about some of the marvel characters. Tony came up in the conversation, and I felt an intense need to defend him from the judgements others were making, and justify some of his actions. But the issue was that I couldn’t accurately explain why he deserved happiness, because I didn’t have the time or even the room to write it all out. So I resolved to write out the main reasons that Tony Stark needs a hug. I drafted up a document and began to compile some of the main reasons he deserves happiness, and needs a hug. To clarify, that means a collection of all the hard things he’s gone through in his life, the horrible things people have done to him, and some explanation for some of the mistakes and choices he’s made throughout his life. It’s also going to have just some of the reasons I, as well as many others love him so much. Now this was originally supposed to be just an afternoon activity, just something to prove a friend wrong and to keep myself entertained for a couple hours, but it somehow evolved into something much more. I’m mostly writing this for myself, but if you enjoy it as well, that’s great! This is definitely gonna be a long ride, and I’m not completely sure how it’s going to turn out, but I want to do it. And I’m going to. So welcome to “Why Tony Stark Needs A Hug,” and I hope you enjoy.

Childhood

Now something that’s common knowledge from the Iron Man movies is that Tony’s parents died before they even reached 60, and for quite a long time, Tony was under the impression that they passed away from a car crash. now it’s traumatizing enough to lose both parents at the same exact time, especially since Tony was still at a relatively young age. But the pain surrounding his parents didn’t just end there. Far from it actually. Much later in his life, Tony actually finds out his parents were brutally murdered by someone he never considered a threat. Someone who Steve would’ve even vouched for. Obviously, Bucky was brainwashed, I truly believe he’s a victim, and I’m honestly glad he wasn’t hurt, but like I’ll say later, this whole thing could’ve been avoided. Moving on, I guarantee you that no one reading this can look me directly in the eyes and tell me they wouldn’t be emotionally compromised after discovering that. Especially if you found out about all of it in the span of a couple minutes, without any previous knowledge. Not to mention the tension between all of them had been building since the beginning of the movie.

Also, if you rewatch the scene with the security footage, you’ll notice something even more heartbreaking about it. After the footage starts to play, it only takes Tony a couple seconds to recognize the street name, as well as the date, and start to panic, knowing something is wrong. This just shows how deep his emotional trauma is actually rooted, and how much it affected him. Not to mention that Tony is a very emotionally centered person. This is neither good nor bad, it’s just something that’s true. Because of this, most logic was probably being swept from his mind as he watched the footage of his parents being murdered. Right after this, Tony also finds out that Steve had been lying to his face from before he even saw the video, just to save himself from a bad situation. Steve had absolutely no right to keep that information from Tony. None. And if Steve had decided to try and explain the situation earlier, this entire thing could’ve turned out very differently Not only because of the emotional trust that would be built by Steve sharing that with Tony, but also the blatant fact that Tony and Bucky wouldn’t be right next to each other. But instead, Tony had to find out about it by the hands of an enemy. Try to comprehend how absolutely horrific that would be. You can’t. 

And to top that off, Tony never even really had a good relationship with his parents when they were alive, especially with his dad. Tony was never able to really connect with them, and describes his father as ‘cold and calculating’. Tony even stated that his father never said he loved him, which would obviously be damaging to anyone, but it was especially harmful for Tony, who only wanted his parents approval. Now this approval things affects more of his life and character arc than you’d think. When we’re young, our parents approval is insanely important to help us grow up believing that we’re decent people, but Tony never got this approval. Then his parents died, leaving him struggling for something to make him feel worth it. So he searches elsewhere. The public. All those shows he does, and the Stark Expo, and things that are described as just a way to fuel his ego. He only does them because those are his only source of approval. All he’s trying to do is fill the hole left by his parents, and trying to prove to himself he’s useful, that he deserves to be alive. Not so selfish or arrogant now, is it?

Tony was raised almost completely by childhood nannies, and his butler Jarvis, who also passed away. Because of the way that Tony grew up, he ended up becoming strongly attached to machines of all sorts. More so than could really be considered normal, or even healthy. If you listen to how he talks to Jarvis, and even Dum-E, he talks to them like they’re human. Like they’re family. Also in the movies, he states, “I’m a lot of things, nostalgic is not one of them,” But here’s the thing. The only reason Tony didn’t consider himself nostalgic, is because he had nothing to be nostalgic about. He didn’t have good memories from his childhood he could look back on. 

Although he received a bit of closure later in his life, that kind of childhood damage is hard to move on from. In Iron Man 2, the reason Tony’s being attacked is because his father had some issues with a previous working partner. That partner’s son then grew up hating Tony and his family. Then Tony is informed that Howard entrusted Tony with the future of his company, and a new discovery. Of course Tony has trouble believing this, cause as he says about his dad, “You’re talking about a guy who’s happiest day was when he shipped me off to boarding school” He truly believed his dad didn’t want him around. It’s found out later that Howard left Tony a message showing him a new element Howard had discovered. This element actually ends up directly saving Tony’s life later in the movie. No obviously Howard didn’t know the direct effect of showing Tony the element, but he knew it would be important. He managed to think ahead, beyond his lifetime, and left Tony a message on how to find it. He also called Tony his “greatest creation” which allowed Tony to start healing his childhood trauma, to maybe begin to think that his dad didn’t completely hate him. 

Now let’s step away from his home life just a little bit, and discuss his time at school. Through a couple pieces of dialogue and some common sense, we can make an educated guess that Tony was bullied heavily at school. In Iron Man 2, Tony spends some time talking with a kid. He asks the kid “The kid that bullies you at school. What’s his name?” Harley responds with “How’d you know that?” Tony obviously recognizes the signs of a kid being bullied. Tony then offers Harley a temporary solution, to keep him from being beat up, and the discussion pretty much ends. Now what we don’t know is exactly why Tony was bullied. However, we can put two and two together. Maybe he was bullied because his dad was so famous and people tend to be jealous. Maybe he was bullied because he had skipped a lot of grades, and was labeled a nerd. No matter the reason, it doesn’t take a lot of time to figure out that he was absolutely bullied and pushed around. Now imagine him coming home from school with a black eye, crying so hard he can hardly breathe cause some kids beat him up on his way back from school and broke his science project. Now imagine Howard telling him to stop being a baby, and telling Tony’s mom to handle it. Imagine Tony sobbing as Maria, his mom, helps to ice his face. Imagine his mom and dad getting into a huge fight about how to deal with it, so Tony decides he doesn’t want to be the reason they fight. So he decides to build something to deal with it so he doesn’t have to bother anyone anymore. So he knows what Harley’s going through, and he’s not gonna let it go. So he helps this kid. cause that’s all he wanted his parents to do, and he’s gonna break the cycle.

One of Tony’s worst fears is being like his dad. It’s the reason he struggles with long-term relationships, as well as the reason he’s not as professional. It’s the reason he tries to be a good mentor to Peter, as well as Harley. Because Tony never really had someone to look up to you, who would encourage him. In Iron Man 3, when Tony’s about to go back home, he tells Harley to go away. When Harley reacts, Tony stops himself, saying “I’m sorry kid. You did good.” And in Spiderman Homecoming, Tony gives Peter a compliment, followed by “My father never really gave me a lot of support, I’m trying to break the cycle.” Tony sees these talented kids, and he wants to help and encourage them, because that’s all he wanted as a kid. And if he can’t get that, of course he wants to make sure others will. 

2) Captured (research more into this one)

Now although many of Tony Stark’s problems stem from internal/emotional issues, or his experiences as Iron Man, it’s worth bringing up that his backstory is actually one of the most interesting transformations in the MCU. Tony was literally ambushed on his way back home, captured, and then kept for three months pretty much on his own. Let’s start from the beginning. One Tony’s way back from a weapons demonstration an explosion intercepts their trip. And after the ambush, Tony ended up with actual shards of rubble embedded in his chest, inching his way to his heart. He would’ve been dead within a day or so, if it weren’t for Yinsen, who performed surgery on him and hooked him up to a car battery in order to keep the shards from reaching his heart. This would be terrifying enough, but it wasn’t over. Tony was kept at the camp for about three months, being forced to build dangerous weapons of his own design, to give to dangerous people to use on innocent civilians. But here’s the thing, Tony never even considered building the weapons. When they first asked him to build it, he flat out refused. Just said no. Then they proceeded to torture him. Now one of the times he was being tortured, they were shoving his head underwater. Tony was getting flashes of the arc reactor, and the things that lead up to that moment. Then he hears a voice call his name. Obviously just in his mind, but it’s up to us to think about who it is. It’s a female voice, so it’s most likely either his Mom or Pepper. Whichever one it is, it’s heartbreaking. When they ask him again, after the torture, he agrees to build the weapons. A bit later, when he’s sitting in the cave with Yinsen, it’s obvious he had no plans to follow through. He was either going to fake it, or end up killing himself before they could get to torture him again. Yinsen talks to Tony, and convinces him to make the most out of his next days. And Tony does. He pulls out all his intelligence and courage, and he managed to not only build a new and more efficient way to keep the shards away from his heart, but to also create and design a suit to help him and Yinsen escape. He was being watched almost every second, yet he still found a way to get it done. 

Throughout the entire time he was trapped, he and Yensen continued to bond, and Tony started to realize exactly what his weapons were capable off in the wrong hands. When he and Yensen finally made their escape attempt, Yensen ended up sacrificing himself to make sure Tony was able to escape. Knowing Tony, he definitely has Yensen’s death on his conscience. And to paraphrase a quote from another show, when Yinsen sacrificed himself to save Tony, it conferred a value on Tony’s life. His last words to Tony are, “Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life.” And Tony did everything he could to honor that. Now I’ve also been thinking about this one thing, that keeps coming up in my mind. Now right before the car Tony was in was ambushed, he was trying to get the people were tasked with protecting him to loosen up. The one sitting next to him in the back asked for a picture, and Tony was quick to agree. The man pulled out his phone, turned on the camera, and put up a peace sign. All of a sudden-boom. And the ambush begins. Now we know that after Tony gets back home, he discontinued the weapons manufacturing, after seeing what all his weapons were capable of in the wrong hands. Now notice how Tony somehow made the peace sign his trademark move. Interesting, isn’t it. In my humble opinion, I believe that somewhere between being held captive and being rescued, something in Tony just changed. He saw what his weapons were doing, and he saw the image of someone holding up a piece sign before getting brutally murdered, and he made a decision that he wasn’t going to be a part of it. And he took that peace sign, and he honored it by using it whenever he could. (Did he use the peace sign before getting captured?)

Then he was rescued, he used the suit to get away from the base of operations, and he wandered aimlessly throughout the desert. A couple helicopters fly over head, searching for him, and he’s located. Now Rhodey, one of his only friends, was on the search party. When he first sees Tony, he flat out falls to his knees and hugs him. Rhodey truly loves him. When Tony finally gets home, he refuses to be in a wheelchair, and walks out with his head held high. And immediately proceeds to shut down the weapons devision of Stark industries. 

3) Captain America Civil War

Let’s talk for a minute about after he becomes a hero, shall we? Tony Stark has fought valiantly beside, as well as defended, the Avengers multiple times, and obviously considers/considered them all his friends, and even family. In Age of Ultron, his greatest fear was failing to save those who he loved. (More information in number 9) And guess who that was. The Avengers. So don’t you dare try to tell me he didn’t care about them. Now moving on to my main point. During Civil War, both Tony and Steve were just doing what they each believed was right, which is a discussion for another day. (I’ll probably do it honestly) But if you take a look at Tony, and his side, he was doing nothing more than trying his absolute hardest to keep the Avengers together. To keep them all safe. But instead, he ended up having to watch as people he trusted, and even loved, ignored his pleas to stop fighting and turn themselves in. He had to watch as they continued to rebel and fight. And he had to watch as they ended up in prison, and as they blamed Tony for it, even though it was their own actions that brought them there. And even though it was breaking his heart, there was really nothing Tony could do at that point. 

Natasha, although I adore her, very blatantly betrayed Tony to help Steve, and then proceeded to get upset when he simply decided to call her out on it. It would’ve better to just start on Steve’s team, instead of betraying Tony and then denying it later on, and hurting him (emotionally) in the process. Can you imagine how damaging that would be for Tony? Now after the big battle wraps up, Tony actually decides to go check out what Steve was so worried about. After discovering it was a real threat, Tony then proceeded to help Steve as best he could, which honestly Steve didn’t really deserve. Then the whole security footage thing occurred, and Tony reacts completely understandably (See number 1) Although I really do understand Steve wanting to protect his friend, that entire situation and showdown could have been avoided pretty easily by Steve not keeping it from Tony. Now at the end of the movie, Steve breaks his team out of prison, and they all end up going on the run. With the exception of Clint and Scott of course, who have families, and decided to take house arrest instead. A whole other issue is that Scott didn’t even really know what he was fighting for, and would’ve fought for whoever showed up at his house first, but you get the point, we don’t have to go into that now. After they all escaped, Tony was alerted. If he really wanted to take them back to jail, he would’ve. He could’ve very easily located them and gotten them thrown back in prison, but that was never what he wanted. Instead, he settled for a less-then-decent apology from Steve, and let them go. (Research more about exactly what Steve’s letter said)

4) Peter Parker

Where do I even start with this one, there’s literally so much. This all will help to build up to the second part, which is more about how this all affects Tony. Let’s just start from the beginning I guess. In Civil War, Peter’s first appearance, Tony is the one who decided o track him down and asks him to help. Tony truly believes Peter could really be something someday. We can obviously see that Peter and May aren’t exactly great, money wise. Peter dumpster dives to get the tech he needs, has a very small twin bed, a bare walls. But if you take a look at his room in SpiderMan Homecoming, he has a bunk bed, state-of-the-art technology, posters on his walls, and pretty much anything else you could think of that he didn’t have before. Now can you think of any other overprotective billionaires who would gift a young smart kid all these things. Oh that’s right, Tony Stark. Tony Stark who literally remodeled an entire kids garage into a state of the art lab with beanbags and equipment, just because he liked the kid. Yeah, that actually happened. And he did it with Peter Parker. Tony would never let a kid as smart as Peter dumpster dive for stuff he needs. Since the Stark Internship is just a cover for superhero stuff, Tony really only needed to give Peter a minimum payment, to make sure they don’t get found out. But instead, he decided to do all he could to make sure this kid has everything he needs. Now moving on to the actual Civil War battle with Peter, Tony gets a lot of hate for bringing a ‘kid’ into the middle of a fight. But here’s the thing, Peter isn’t just a kid. he’s an actual superhero who has healing powers, a ton of strength, the ability to climb walls, enhanced senses, etc. Not to mention a brand new suit designed by Tony. It’s not the same thing as plucking out a random teen from Queens and tossing them into the fray. I also want to point out that Wanda isn’t really all that old either. But moving on. The second Tony thought Peter might be in actual danger, he immediately tells him to back off, and even threatens to call Aunt May is Peter doesn’t stop fighting. The look on Tony’s face when he sees Peter lying on the ground is pure panic, and you can hear in his voice how worried he was. He would’ve never let Peter get permanently injured. Not to mention that Cap’s team were convincing each other not to pull their punches. Scott even swatted Peter out of the sky, and even though I love Scott, that isn’t cool. Now if we move on to Spiderman Homecoming, there’s a ton more evidence surrounding Tony and Peter. Now if we ignore the obvious ones (giving Peter a suit to keep him safe, protective dad lecture, etc) we can move to some of the other signs. At the end of the movie, Tony explains that him taking the suit from peter was simply ‘tough love’. Tough love is still love, and Tony very obviously cares about Peter. Now if we go back a little bit earlier in the movie, when Peter is talking to Tony, who’s in the suit, Peter says “If you even cared, you’d actually be here”. After Peter says this, Tony practically jumps out of the suit to prove that he does in fact care about Peter, already explaining how much he cares, and that he even called the police to help, etc. Also earlier in homecoming, Tony directly stated that if Peter died, “I feel like that would be on me,” which brings me to our next reason that Tony needs a hug.

5) Peter Parker (Part 2)

This part is going to be dedicated to that one scene in IW that broke all of our hearts. You know the one I’m talking about it. Let’s do it. *SNAP* Now you may have noticed that Peter took a while longer to disintegrate than the others did. The main reason for this is pretty devastating, so I’m sorry in advance. Now Peter’s spidey-sense actually wanted him ahead of time that he was about to die. No one else really knew it was going to happen until it happened. Except for maybe Dr Strange, but that’s a different topic, so let’s move on. Peter was also the only one to feel pain, which I’ll get back to in a moment. So Peter immediately knows he’s in trouble, and his first instinct is to turn to Tony with, “Mr Stark, I don’t feel so good.” Tony of course immediately attempts to reassure him, but he’s starting to realize something isn’t right as well. At this point, Peter truly starts to die, and he stumbles towards Tony, grasping for something to keep him from fading away, something to keep him safe. Which means Tony. Tony’s trying to hold Peter up, starting to panic. And now comes the true trauma. Peter is already in pain, he knows he’s dying, and he starts to beg for Tony to save him, telling Tony that he doesn’t want to die. This very abruptly brings us back to the reality that Peter is just a teenager. Just a terrified kid, who doesn’t want to die. He’s in high school. he has a crush, and a best friend. he jumps on the best. And now he’s dying in pain. So he begs Tony to save him, which is painful enough, especially since there is nothing Tony can do. And that’s one of Tony’s worst fears, him being helpless to save someone’s life, which makes this infinitely more painful for him. Peter falls to the ground, almost completely gone. I mentioned this earlier, but Peter has healing powers, so they’re obviously working overtime trying to fix whatever’s going on. But since its futile, it’s more like useless turmoil inside his body. And since he knew ahead of time that he was going to die, he was able to attempt fighting against it. And he did. As hard as he could. But again, it’s all useless. So Peter lies on the ground, and looks directly at Tony, “I’m sorry.” and disappears. What exactly is he sorry for? Not listening to Tony and following him onto the spaceship? Losing the battle with Thanos? Not getting the gauntlet? Making Tony feel guilty for his death? Or all of the above. No matter what, he says it directly to Tony. As Peter faded away completely, Tony practically falls forward, showing just how hard he was trying to keep Peter from leaving. Now for Thanos to succeed, Vision had to die. Tony’s smart, he knows this. So not only is peter gone, but as he disappears, Tony is also realizing that he just lost Vision as well, his last piece of Jarvis. If you look at Tony’s face after the disintegration, you can clearly see the pure pain and grief on his face. That’s the face of a man who’s lost everything. Now if I write anymore on this particular topic, I’m going to lose it. So let’s just move on, shall we? Maybe to a topic a little bit easier to talk about.

6) The Suit

“What are you without that suit?” This question resonates through almost all of the Iron Man movies, as well as the Avenger movies. Tony is constantly (find the word) by the other Avengers for not having any ‘real’ powers and him building his own suits. Now the answer Tony gives to this is pretty interesting. “Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist” Let’s unpack this.

 

Genius. Tony was stranded in the desert, people watching his very move, with shards of rubble inching their way to his heart, and a car battery keeping him alive. Yet he still somehow managed to create a suit that allowed him to not only escape, but to blow up their entire base of operations without anyone realizing what he was up too before he needed them to. Not to mention he created groundbreaking tech in a cave, that people with state-of-the-art-tech and a whole lab couldn’t even manage to build. You’d have to be pretty smart in order to do all that, don’t you think?

Billionaire. Obviously money is a very important aspect of Tony’s character, which I’ll discuss a bit more in the ‘philanthropist’ section. But for now, let’s just mention the fact that Tony has a huge amount of money, that he could spend on literally anything he wanted. But instead, he makes a supersuit so he can save lives. Not to mention he literally funds the Avengers, which no one ever seems to mention. And although it’s his father’s company, Tony, with Pepper’s help, actually managed it, and works for his movie, and I’m pretty sure the other Avengers don’t even really have jobs.

Playboy. I won’t go to into this, because you get the concept, but I do want to spend a little time on it. Now people constantly make fun of Tony for being a playboy, and although he may still use that as part of his description, that isn’t actually who he is anymore. He has truly made an effort with Pepper, and is doing his best to make it work. Not to mention that part of the reason he was a ‘playboy’ was because of his previous troubled relationships, both romantic and platonic. 

Philanthropist. Tony, throughout most of his life, especially after the incident with the ambush, has donated huge sums of money to charities. He also decided to fund a ton of idea and projects from people who would never be able to afford it on their own. Partly because that when he was a kid, he would’ve wanted someone to do that for him. And he truly believes that they’re the future. Also like I mentioned before, he funds the Avengers, which no one ever talks about.

7) The Suit (Part 2)

Let’s go over this conversation that happened between Steve and Tony in the first Avengers. It’s also pretty interesting, especially given what happens later in the film. 

Steve: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?  
(Hey Steve. Take out the serum, what exactly are you?)

Tony: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist  
(Hell yeah)

Steve: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you.  
(I’m sorry, are you talking about Bucky? Bucky is no better than Tony. They’re both great men, just in different ways. And don’t you dare tell Tony he isn’t worth anything, he’s been told that his whole life.)

Steve: I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.  
(Pardon me? Who flew into a literal wormhole to save New York? Oh that’s right, it was Tony. And I thought you were the one constantly saying “we don’t trade lives” You actually seem perfect willing to trade anyones lives, as long as they aren’t your friends, but that’s none of my business)

Tony: I think I would just cut the wire  
(That’s literally just smarter. Why make an unnecessary sacrifice? )

Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero  
(I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: This is damaging to Tony. He’s just as much a hero, if not more than you are. You have no right to say that. )

Tony: A hero? Like you? You’re a lab rat Rogers. Everything special about you came ou of a bottle.  
(True. Who is Steve to judge? Both him and Tony were built. It’s not like Tony is a ‘fake’ hero. And to be honest, all Steve had to do for his powers were endure a couple seconds of pain. Tony was a captive for months, and built everything out of his own ingenuity. No one is born a hero. Heroes are made.)

This was a long passage, but I feel very passionate about it. And I’m not saying Steve isn’t a hero, because he is. But here’s the thing, he is no better than Tony. Never will be. And everyone treats him like he can do no wrong, which isn’t true. 

8) Mental Health

As stated in the Iron Man trilogy, Tony Stark has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from the battle of New York, when he flew into the wormhole to save everyone. But it’s also possible he has PTSD from Iron Man 1, when he was ambushed. There’s a couple things that support this theory. For one, Tony doesn’t let anyone else drive him. He even has a chauffeur, yet he drives himself. Not only did he believe his parents were killed in a car crash, but when he was ambushed, someone eel was driving. It’s no wonder he doesn't want anyone else in front of the wheel. In Iron Man 1, there’s a conversation that goes about like this. Obadiah says, “The board is claiming you has PTSD. They’re filing an injunction” Tony response is simply, “A what?” and Obadiah clarifies “They wanna lock you up.” Tony continues with, “Because the stock dropped?” Never once in that conversation did he deny having PTSD, only that it shouldn’t mean he should get locked up. A bit later in the movie, Tony hears the news discussing him. They say, “Some claim he’s suffering from PTSD…Whatever the case, no one expects an appearance tonight” and Tony immediately decided to go to the event. Which could easily be because he wanted to prove them wrong. Interesting, wouldn’t you say?

Tony also suffers from very severe anxiety attacks. This is first brought up in Iron Man 3, when he’s talking with Rhodey (his friend) in a restaurant, when Rhodey’s trying to convince Tony to give up the suits. A kid approaches him with a hand-drawn picture of New York, and starts asking him about the wormhole and the aliens. Rhodey adds to the convo, and Tony starts to panic. His breathing becomes irregular, and he runs outside, stepping into the suit. He asks Friday to scan him for health issues. She diagnoses him and says he suffered a severe anxiety attack. He just goes, “Me?” Now it’s obvious that Tony would be terrified of what having anxiety would entail. But we can also assume he’s confusing anxiety with being weak. Because for every problem he has, that’s less time he can spend trying to help his friends and family. Later in the movie, Tony spends some time with a kid named Harley, mentioned earlier. Now Harley unknowingly brings up New York again, sending Tony into another anxiety attack. When Harley asks if Tony’s has medication, Tony admits he probably should. But moving on. Later in the movie, Tony is driving and talking to Harley about fixing his Iron Man suit. Harley say it isn’t charging, and Jarvis confirms that it’s possible the Iron Man suit won’t be able to be fixed in time to get to Tony. Tony has another attack, about what he’s going to do without his suit. Harley tries to talk him through it, and suggest he just build something. Now this was partly because Tony needed another way to fight, besides the Iron Man armor. But it was also a good way for Tony to calm down. Since he did the same thing at home to deal with nightmares, we can assume he builds stuff to deal with mental health struggles. This is good and all, until we realize he’s been building things since the age of four. Probably to deal with his mess of a childhood. 

All of these conditions would make anyone’s life a lot harder, even a normal civilian. But there’s more. Now in Iron Man 1, Tony says this bit of dialogue to Pepper, “I’m a piping hot mess. It’s been going on for a while. I haven’t said anything. Nothing’s been the same since New York…The only reason I haven’t cracked up is probably because you moved in. But honey, I can’t seep. You go to bed. I come down here (the lab), I do what I know. I tinker. Threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing I can’t live without. That’s you.” Ever since New York, Tony’s been having visions, nightmares, and just a sense of foreboding. Thanks had been in his head for (???) years. The other Avengers were able to mostly move on from New York, but Tony never could. 

SHIELD eventually assesses Tony to see if he’d be a good choice for the Avengers. Part of the report form says, “prone to self-destructive tendencies” and Tony argues that, “I was dying!” But SHIELD knew it was technically his doing. Now at the end of the report, it says Iron Man would be a good choice, but that “Tony stark not recommended” Tony defends himself by saying “I’m trying to do right by Pepper,” and ask what exactly they mean by wanting him, but not wanting him at the same time. The truth was, they just wanted the suit and the powers. They wanted the good things. They didn’t want his problems, they didn’t want his anxiety, they didn’t want his past, they didn’t want his bad side. 

That’s part of his struggle, nothing and no one ever lets him move on. Yet Tony Stark continues to work impossibly hard, does whatever needs to be done to save lives, and does his best to make it work with Pepper. No one would blame him if he has decided to retire, and pass along the Iron Man mantle, or even stop it completely. But he doesn’t do that. All of this should earn him some major respect, but of course he’s never really gotten it. Now let’s step away from this for a moment, and delve into some more sadness. 

9) Darkest Fear

This is a really interesting one, and it’s actually very valid, so stick with me. In Avengers Age of Ultron, Wanda uses her powers (I can’t currently remember exactly what they’re called) on some of the Avengers to pull out their deepest fears, and weaknesses to use against them. Make them picture something that would make them unable to fight back. Everyone had completely understandable fears, but the point of this passage is Tony. So let’s focus on him. It uses a basis on his PTSD and fear of New York, by showing him more of the aliens, and you can clearly see how absolutely petrified he is. The second part of the vision is him seeing all his friends dead or dying, telling Tony that it was his fault, that he could’ve saved them all. Tony’s biggest fear is literally his friends and family dying because of something he did. His fear is failing to save those that he loves. Now you can understand why he begged for them to stop fighting in Civil War. Because he wanted more than anything for them to be safe. If that doesn’t make him worthy of love and respect, I don’t know what does.

10) Pepper and Happy

Pepper and Happy are a huge part of Tony’s life, and have been for a while. We’ll start with Pepper, and just discuss some of the moments that show just how much he loves her. In Iron Man 2, the Mandarin sends an attack on Tony’s house. The second the bombs start to go off, Tony directs the iron Man suit to save Pepper without a second thought, leaving himself defenseless. That was his gut instinct. When he gets trapped in the house, he tells Pepper to get herself and the other person in the house out. He didn’t focus on himself until he knew for sure that Pepper was clear of the house. After that incident, he apologizes to Pepper for ever putting her in harms way. Now on a tiny bit lighter note, there’s a moment where Tony’s talking to a previous sexual partner and he says, “Please don’t tell me there’s a twelve year old kid waiting in the car that I’ve never met,” He’s still worrying about his past and how it’ll affect his relationship with Pepper. In the first Iron Man, Tony realizes Pepper is in danger of being hurt by the bombs, so he immediately uses the suit to get to her as fast as possible and get her away from the danger. He then thanks Pepper for everything, tells her she deserves better, and they kiss. 

Now let’s discuss Happy for a bit. Obviously he’s not a huge part of the story, but he’s in all the movies, and there’s definitely some parts that really help develop Tony’s character. For example, in Iron Man 3 Happy tries to warn Tony that something’s off, but Tony just brushes it off. Happy then tries to check out the threat by himself, and ends up getting hurt. Tony obviously feels responsible for it, because Happy wouldn’t have been anywhere near the threat if Tony had listened it. Happy ends up in a coma, and Tony sits with him in the hospital. Before he leaves, Tony tells the nurse to make sure everyone’s wearing their badges, because he knows Happy would want that. He even knows Happy’s favorite show. Tony listens to him, he doesn’t just care about himself. 

 

11) Responsible for ultron. 

Tony is constantly blamed for ultron. If you look into it, it’s multiple peoples fault. Wanda (who preyed on his emotions and made him so terrified of losing his friends that he felt it was completely necessary) Bruce, who people always forget actually helped to create Ultron. Not to mention that even if Tony did convince a reluctant Bruce to help, Bruce could’ve said no. Bruce decided to help himself. Tony may have pushed him, but it was ultimately Bruce’s decision to help. Also, even if he did create it, it’s not like he meant to create a murdering computer program. His only motivation was wanting to protect those who needed it. And if you can forgive Nat for killing people, Loki for trying to take over earth, and Clint for almost killing Thor, etc then you can forgive Tony, especially since he learned and grew from his mistakes. It’s ridiculous to hold a single event over his head for his entire life.

 

Obviously I could go on for pages and pages about this certain topic, and focus on some more of the reasons he needs some love. For example, I could elaborate a bit more on his complicated relationship with Pepper, on his guilt over Rhodey, his journey with Yensen, or even his so-called ‘friendship’ with Steve. And although I may eventually do a part two, for now, I’ll leave you with this. Tony has been through so much in his life. Friendships that turned into betrayals. Family that left him all alone. Battles that stayed with him forever. He’s fought through it all. Yet for some reason, people still decide to hate on him, and call him ‘selfish’ or ‘cruel’. All he wants is to move on from his past, but no one will let hi. Not to mention he will probably end up dying in Avengers 4, which is hard enough to think about. And none of this is to say that the other characters don’t deserve love and support, because they truly do. However, this essay is specifically for Tony Stark, I may return to some of the other characters in a later essay. But for now, that’s enough. 

 

(Which one of these paragraphs to end it?)

There’s a theme that spans through Tony’s entire life. Moving on. He’s always wanted to move on from his mistakes, from his bad choices, from the tragedy surrounding him, from his past. But the world won’t let him. He can’t move on from his parents deaths, because he found out they were actually murdered. He can’t move on from New York, because he is continually getting flashbacks, and premonitions. He can’t move on from his career struggles because people continue to hold it against him. Tony even tried to move on from being Iron Man, but because that’s what his heart wants him to do, he can’t do that either. The truth is, Tony hasn’t moved on. He’s moved forward, but he hasn’t left any of his struggles behind him. Tony carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. And one day it’s going to crush him.

So do you want to know who Anthony Edward Stark is? I’ll tell you. Tony is arrogant. reckless. unprofessional. rude. insensitive. He’s all of those. But you know what else he is? He’s beautiful. Smart. Passionate. Selfless. Supportive. Caring. Independent. Powerful. But you know the worst thing about him? The worst thing about him is that he will never believe the good things. 

So in conclusion, Tony Stark deserves the entire universe and beyond. And he needs a hug. Multiple actually. Tony has all my love and respect, and always will. And if he dies in Infinity War, I’m dying with him. Well, actually he probably wouldn’t want that. So maybe I’ll live for Tony Stark instead.

 

~~~~~  
Extra:

Let me put an image into your head. Tony wakes up, sitting bolt upright, breathing heavily. It’s another nightmare, the fourth one this week. He turns to look at Pepper, before turning away, getting out of bed and walking down to the lab. He grabs a beer on his way down, and leans on his elbows on a table, drinking it, eyes closed. He’s trying to block out the visions, but they keep coming in. Flashes of New York, of the aliens. Without a warning, he stands up and throws the bottle at a wall. It shatters. It’s not enough. He grabs the nearest tool and chucks it at the glass. It smashes. He shoves everything off his desk, he kicks over chairs, he screams at no one in particular. He hears a noise, and spins around, about to throw whatever was in his hand at the noise. Pepper ducks and puts her hands in front of her face, and Tony freezes in place. He drops the tool on the ground, his eyes wide open. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He sinks to the ground, and leans against the wall, head in his hands. He looks up, bags under his red rimmed eyes. Pepper steps over the broken glass, and without another word, she sits next to him. In the midst of all the chaos and the mess. They sit together. And the silence says more than you could ever imagine.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay please keep in mind that I love all the characters a lot, and this is no way means I don't think the other heroes deserve a hug, because they definitely do! Also, I'm sure some of this may be incorrect, but please don't hate on me for it. If you guys want, I could probably do more of these for a couple other characters, which might be interesting. They might not be as long as this one though!


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